It is with great regret the Crown announces that Princess Penelope Juniper Jasko has hosted her final tea party. Sweet Pea, as she was known by her loyal subjects, went to sleep in His Eternal Kingdom on August 26, 2019. Though her earthly reign lasted merely six years, Penelope's joyous approach to life and brilliant soul left an indelible impression on all who she encountered as she carried out her royal duties.
Beyond her regal obligations, such as throwing extravagant dance parties (which she often choreographed) and wrangling the wild (and quite fierce) flock of royal hens, Princess Penelope enjoyed the fruits of an active life. Whether it be trekking the treacherous (but not too treacherous) trails of the MetroParks, swimming in the placid (but probably shark-infested) waters of Lake Ensley, or braving the harrowing (but close to home) depths of the bamboo forest, Sweet Pea tackled each challenge with a determined spirit, limitless grace, and gorgeous smile. The brave princess was equally adept in the sporting arena, exhibiting her exceptional running, jumping, and kicking skills on the soccer field, and she was awfully proud of her favorite pink socks. Aside from physical endeavours, Penelope excelled as an artist, entertainer, singer, cosmetologist, and chef. Her jokes were pretty great, too.
Most of all, Princess Penelope loved spending leisure time with her noble family. Servants would often find Sweet Pea cuddled up with an older sibling on the couch to listen as they told tales from far off lands or to enjoy the latest film (she was a bit of a buff). She was world-renowned for laughing and snorting at the dinner table as she recounted her deeds from the day. And she found special joy in doting over her younger siblings and teaching them "proper" royal manners, such as leaping off furniture, cackling like a hyena, wrestling in piles of pillows, and sneaking treats from the pantry.
In the coming year, the princess was looking forward to unlocking more ancient secrets of mathematics, deciphering new and exciting tomes, and finally mastering the intricate machinations of the bicycle.
Regardless of the activity, Penelope was often accompanied by her dearest friend, closest ally, and, as Sweet Pea would freely attest, coolest cousin, Eleanor. Two flawless souls, made even more perfect in the light of the other, they were nearly inseparable. Together, they found so much happiness in the world, and they freely shared that joy with everyone around them.
Penelope leaves behind her earthly kingdom to her loving parents, Christopher and Melissa (Platt); four fellow princesses, Madeline, Savannah, Genevieve, and Dorothy; two favorite knights (and jesters), Christopher II and Benedict; and her mangy hound, Montana. They hope to not mess things up too much in her stead. Her brief-yet-spectacular reign will be well-remembered, forever-loved, and always-missed by a nigh endless number of grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, and grumpy dragons.
Princess Penelope's many admirers are encouraged to join her vast family and dedicated subjects at Newcomer Funeral Home (4104 Needmore Rd, Dayton, OH) on Wednesday, September 11 from 5:00-8:00pm for one final engagement to share tales of Sweet Pea's many adventures and celebrate her benevolent time on the throne.
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