Bessie Gustin

Bessie M. Gustin, passed away at age 91, on March 22, 2014 at the Franklin Ridge Nursing Home in Franklin, OH.

She was born on July 16, 1922 in Trenton, OH, the daughter of Denver and Mary Reynolds. She raised her family in Old North Dayton, and then returned to Franklin (where she was raised) when she married her second husband.

Preceding her in death were her first husband of 34 years, Joseph U. DeBrosse and her second husband of 17 years, Ben Gustin.

Bessie is survived by her daughter, Nancy (Greg) Harvey, her daughter, Mary (Jeff) Morgan, her son, Joseph (Anita) DeBrosse, her grandchildren, Randy Harris and Sarah (Wade) Ballard, her great grandson, Nolan Ballard, her step daughter, Carolyn (Calvin) Collier and her step daughter, Nancy (Leal) Balon, a brother-in-law, Cletus DeBrosse, and a sister-in-law, Catherine Reynolds, as well as numerous nieces, nephews, grand nieces, grand nephews and step grandchildren.

She was a member of OES, Chapter 535 (Worthy Matron in 1987), a charter member of Deardoff Senior Center, and a member of St. Mary Church in Franklin.

In lieu of flowers, contributions can be made to St. Vincent de Paul Society of St. Mary Church in Franklin.

Mass of Christian Burial is Saturday March 29, 2014 at 11am at St. Mary Church in Franklin, OH.

Inurnment will follow in Woodhill Cemetery, Franklin, OH.


What I remember about my Mama

(Written by Joseph DeBrosse, edited by Nancy Harvey and Mary Jo Morgan)

Bessie was born in Trenton, Ohio to Charles Denver and Mary Elizabeth Reynolds on July 16, 1922. She had four brothers and one sister. Her sister (Louise) was the first born followed by 2 brothers (Jimmy and Arthur), and then Bessie followed by two more brothers: Jean and the baby of the family Bobby.
Most of Bessie's early life until she married in 1946 was spent in Franklin, Ohio. She deeply loved her home town. Her early life was marked by economic hardship. She was seven when the Great Depression started. Additionally, her father was blinded by cataracts and was unable to work. Her parents never owned a house and had to move frequently when they could not pay the rent. She experienced first-hand the stigma of having to live off government aid and never lost her compassion for the poor.

Despite the trauma of the depression, which imprinted her life with the fear of being in debt, Bessie would tell you that she had a happy childhood. She would tell her own children she never had much money but always had plenty of love.
As the younger sister, she also looked up to her older sister Louise and wanted to be like her. Of course, as the older sister, Louise did not always appreciate her younger sister wanting to hang around her, but as they grew into adulthood, their sisterly bond deepened. Although Louise eventually moved to San Francisco, Bessie and she always stayed in touch through phone and letters.
She was devoted to all four of her brothers even though as children they would tease and torment her as brothers often do. For example, her brother Arthur (who was referred to by his father as "The Senator") used to steal her dolls so he could play funeral director and give a eulogy that would make her cry. She could be competitive in games with her two younger brothers (Jean and Bobby), but she would never tattle on them to her mother so her mother used to punish all three of them. They were "Birds of a feather who flocked together."
She had a special devotion to her eldest brother, Jimmy, who never married and took care of his parents and provided a home for them. In their final year when Jimmy was unable to care for them, he asked Bessie to take them in to her home since Bessie was the only one their father would allow to take care of him. Despite the extra burden this put on her own family, her husband (Joe) supported her decision to care for her parents. Both of her parents spent their last year in Joe and Bessie's home receiving tender loving care.
Bessie met the love of her life in the 1940s while working for the Army Signal Corp. His name was Joe DeBrosse and he came from a large Catholic family. His father and mother (Joseph and Clara) had 11 children: Six daughters and five sons. Joe was more of an introvert while Bessie was a classic extrovert. It had to be love because Joe had no car and lived in east Dayton while Bessie lived 17 miles away in Franklin. Many a time in order to date Bessie Joe had to either take the bus, walk, or hitch hike to Franklin from Dayton.
Since Joe was going to volunteer to serve in the War he did not want to marry Bessie until he safely returned home. They married September 27, 1946 at Holy Family Church. However, as was custom at the time, since Bessie was not Catholic, they could not be married in the church with a mass but were instead married inside the rectory. Eventually, in the early 1950s Bessie became a Catholic. She always delighted in telling family and friends how shocked her children were the first time they learned their mother was not always a Catholic.

Joe and Bess had 34 happy years of marriage living primarily in Old North Dayton at 800 Valley Street. They had three children: Nancy, Mary Jo, and Joe. The house was actually a double (or duplex) with Joe's Sister Kate and her husband George (aka Uncle Chick) living on the other side with their two daughters Rita and Peggy. This created an extended family with both sides almost daily visiting the other especially when there was special news or family gossip to share. Throughout the years constant visitors included Ira and Charlene DeBrosse, Cletus and Mildred Goubeaux, Paul and Sally DeBrosse, Clete and Lillian DeBrosse, Mac and Vi McCarthy, and close friends such as Bruce and Mae Gilly. Aunt Louise DeBrosse would occasionally spend weekends with her younger sister Kate. In later years after Vatican II, Joe and Kate's older sisters (aka The Nuns) Sister Francis Margaret and Sister Rita Marie would spend weekends with Aunt Kate who graciously shared their visits with Joe and Bessie and their children.
In 1976 Chick and Kate moved across the street. Kate would always be calling Joe and Bessie to come over for a visit or a meal. A special treat each spring was Uncle Ira picking dandelions and bringing them over to Aunt Kate to cook. Kate called it her spring tonic. Additionally, Kate and Chick loved to have Joe, Bessie, and their children over when Uncle Ira came to visit and was in a mood to preach politics, religion, and life. This greatly impressed Joe and Bessie's children, especially the youngest child who to this day tries to emulate his Uncle Ira by also preaching politics, religion, and life at family gatherings.

While living on Valley Street, Joe and Bessie attended Our Lady of the Rosary Church. Their three children went to school there while their daughters graduated from Julienne High School and their son from Chaminade-Julienne High School. Good friends from OLR included Henry and Thelma Beck. Their friendship blossomed when their eldest children, Nancy and Phyllis, met the first day at kindergarten. Nancy and Phyllis have maintained a lifelong friendship. Other friendships from OLR that developed through their children included the following families: Schultz, Koenig, Hemmelgarn, Schwenderman, Nartker, and Eackle.

Coming from large families, Joe and Bessie had numerous nieces and nephews. They loved them all and were always happy to see them. Rita and Peggy were special to them since they lived next door and were frequent visitors. Cletus and Mildred's children (Joe's eldest sister) have a special place in both Joe's and Bessie's hearts. Cletus and Mildred had twelve children. Joe was only seven years older than their oldest son. When Joe and Bessie were first married, the four oldest of Mildred's sons (Cletus Jr., Tom, Bob, and Leo) would stop over at night to visit Joe and Bessie, eat popcorn, and watch Milton Berle on NBC's Texaco Star Theatre. Mildred would tell Bessie: "If they bother you send them home." Bessie always told Mildred: "We love to have them visit". Through the years when Joe did remodeling projects at Valley Street, such as cementing the driveway and extending the garage, he would be helped by Bob Goubeaux and Clare's husband Jim Mikula. Joe was an usher in Bob Goubeaux's wedding to Pat. Joe and Bessie loved all of the Goubeaux children and their grandchildren and all of them returned the love.
From the beginning of their marriage, Joe and Bessie spent many summers 60 miles north of Dayton at Indian Lake. Often, in the summer, they would rent a cottage for a week or two. Joe would rent cottages from Sutton's Landing while his brothers (Ira and Paul) rented cottages at O'Connor's Landing. When Joe and Bessie rented a cottage, they made sure that it was big enough to include Bessie's mother and father and Uncle Jim. During the week, friends and family would stop up to visit for the day. One year Joe invited Sister Francis Margaret and Sister Rita Marie (two of his sisters) up for the day. They were unable to come, but asked if some of their Notre Dame Sisters could come up instead. Joe and Bessie showed them a good time including a boat ride around the lake to show then the statue of Our Lady of Fatima and telling them the story behind the statue.

Eventually, Bessie was able to persuade Joe to buy a cottage. In 1974, Joe and Bessie bought a cottage around Black Hawk. Thanks to Bessie's loving nagging to buy the cottage, Joe had some of the happiest days of his life. He would not allow Bessie to install a phone at the cottage. Joe was the secretary-treasurer of Lather's Local 30, and almost every night at home at Valley Street, Joe, to Bessie's chagrin, was always on the phone at night listening to complaints from his fellow union members.

Joe and Bessie enjoyed being with family and friends at Indian Lake. Joe and Bessie loved to have Cletus and Mildred's children (and grandchildren) come up and stay for the weekend. The first summer that Joe bought the cottage, he had Jim and Claire Mikula's four daughters (Clare, Stephanie, Cindy, and Robin) along with Carl and Sharon Goubeaux's daughter Trina up for the week. Their Aunt Mille (Mildred's daughter) came along to help supervise the five young ladies (their ages ranged from 6 to 11). He also loved when some of Cletus and Mildred's children also bought cottages on the same street (Channel View). This included Dick and Marianne Seider, Jim and Clare Mikula, John Goubeaux, and Mildred Goubeaux. Uncle Paul was just a few channels over with his family. Uncle Chick and Aunt Kate even bought a cottage on Channel View. However, Aunt Kate was never that much into Indian Lake and her son-in-law Bernie was never quite able to remodel the cottage to her satisfaction. Kate only lasted a few years at the lake.

Joe loved boats, and he and his brother Paul practiced building small speed boats that they would run on the Great Miami River over at Triangle Park. Bessie provided Joe with his greatest building opportunity. In the early 1950s, Bessie wrecked the family car. It was totaled. Bessie was not hurt, but she knew her husband would blow a gasket. After Joe calmed down, he decided to salvage the engine from the wreck and used it to build a boat. He sent away for a boat blueprint from Popular Mechanics. Together with his brother Paul, and assisted by his good friends Bruce Gilly, and Bob McCarthy, they built a beautiful inboard boat that was named the "Nancy Jo"after his two daughters. Building the boat was also a great benefit to Bessie. Joe built the boat at Uncle Jim's farm where he provided a home for his and Bessie's mother and father.

Bessie always loved to visit with her parents at the farm. While Joe spent many a night after work and many a weekend in the barn building his boat, Bessie got to spend the time with her daughters, parents, and other family and friends from Franklin. Knowing Bessie's sense of humor, there is no doubt that she took credit for the boat by saying it was no accident but that she deliberately wrecked the car knowing how her husband would react and that she would get to spend more time with her mother. This illustrates one of Bessie's strongest characteristics: Bessie never liked to admit a mistake. Also, there is no doubt that while Joe was out building the boat in the barn Bessie was in the house cracking jokes at what was going on in the barn. This illustrates another of Bessie's strongest characteristics: She knew how to entertain people by finding humor in the actions of those she loved the most.
Christmas Eve 1980 was one of the saddest days in Bessie's life. Her beloved Joe died of a heart attack. To help grieve his death Bessie moved back to Franklin to keep house for her brother Jim. She also started taking care of two young children named Brad and Addie. Just a few years before Joe's death, Bessie's daughter Mary presented her mother with two of the greatest gifts she ever got in her life: A grandson named Randy and a granddaughter named Sarah. Taking care of Brad and Adie and watching her grandson and granddaughter grow into a fine young man and a fine young lady helped Bessie overcome the loss of her husband. As an extrovert, she always drew energy from being part of the community. It was during this period of her life that she became a charter member of Franklin's Deardoff Center and joined St. Mary in Franklin Ohio.
By 1986 Bessie had healed well enough to be able to love another man. Through her sister-in-law Phyllis Reynolds, Bessie was introduced to the second great love of her life: Ben Gustin. Ben had also lost a loving spouse. This shared loss no doubt helped Ben and Bessie develop a loving relationship. They were able to enjoy 17 years of blissful marriage living on Ben's farm. They were able to enjoy a retirement that most married people dream of: Enjoying their children and grandchildren and taking wonderful vacations in the summer across this beautiful country. Many times on these vacations they were accompanied by friends such as Phyllis and Jean Reynolds, Martha Buchanan, and Bessie's daughter Nancy and her husband Greg.

During their marriage Ben continued on with one of the greatest loves of his life: farming. Every year well into his eighties, he was able to grow soybeans. When not farming, his passions included watching on TV the Cincinnati Reds play baseball, and the Cincinnati Bengals, and Ohio State Buckeyes play football. During the winter he loved to tinker and build things in the garage. During his marriage with Bessie, Ben built two hovercrafts. Although not a church goer himself, he faithfully accompanied Bessie to Mass at St. Mary. Afterwards they would go to Ben's favorite restaurant: Old Country Buffet.

While Ben was out farming, Bessie spent countless hours at the Deardoff Center playing cards with friends such as Martha Buchanan and family such as her brother Jean and his wife Phyllis. At the Deardoff center Bessie was part of a group known as The Ding-a-lings. The Ding-a-lings loved to put on musicals. Two of Bessie's famous roles included being the Red Robin in, well you know the song and the rear end of a horse. Her son constantly and lovingly reminded her what that meant she was.

Ben and Bessie shared 17 happily married years. They were married at St. Mary on August 2, 1986. In total Bessie enjoyed over 51 years of marriage spilt between two wonderful men. Before Ben died, Ben and Bessie decided to be buried together. There tombstone is easy to spot: It is in the shape of two big pink hearts.

After Ben died, Bessie continued to live on Ben's farm until her heath required her to move back to 800 Valley Street where she received tender loving care from her daughter Mary aided by her son-in-law Jeff Morgan and her grandson Randy Harris. In her final years Bessie also had the faithful and loving companionship of two boxers named Brutus and Jackson. Brutus especially loved to share Bessie's bed. She did not mind, especially on cold winter nights, except that every now and then Brutus tried to nudge her out of bed. Bessie, in turn, loved to give Brutus and Jackson treats so much so that they both had to go on diets. During this time Bessie loved to call her daughter-in-law Anita so that Anita could tell her the latest predicaments and foibles her "only begotten son" had gotten into. Bessie would always laugh and say, "He's just like his father." Bessie also loved sharing stories about the happenings of her eldest daughter Nancy with her other children Mary Jo and Joe. Her constant comment on Nancy was that she's just like me. As their own tribute to their mother's humor, Nancy, Mary Jo, and Joe always when beginning a conversation about Bessie to their fellow sibling would always start the conversation with the opening phrase: "Your mother."
After moving back to Valley Street, Bessie received one final great gift from God via her granddaughter Sarah: a great-grandson named Nolan Wade Ballard. In the final months of her life Bessie loved to receive reports on the escapades of Nolan who is lovingly referred to by his Great Aunt Nancy as "The King." This is also an example of the humor passed on by Bessie to her children.

In addition to her travels across this beautiful country, Bessie also crossed the Atlantic three times with her son (her daughter Nancy being with them on two of these occasions). As part of a travel group organized by Phyllis Wysinski, Bessie travelled to Ireland in 1995. Then to Germany, Switzerland, and Austria in 1997, and finally to Italy in 1999. While in Italy when visiting Rome, she attended a papal audience along with thousands of other people in St. Peter's Square. She brought back a rosary blessed by John Paul II and took this rosary with her when she went to live at Franklin Ridge.
In May 2013 Bessie returned to Franklin and received loving care from the staff at Franklin Ridge. The staff told her children how much they enjoyed her stories and sense of humor. The longer she was there the more she socialized with the people there. Many times when her son came to visit, he found her playing games. She won at trivia. In her final days she told everyone who saw her what a wonderful life she had and like Frank Sinatra had few regrets. After catching pneumonia in early March she passed away on March 22, 2014 at approximately 5:30pm. Her daughter Nancy had just left her and was barely in the parking lot when Hospice called her daughter Mary to inform her of Bessie's passing.

In conclusion Bessie had a well-developed sense of humor. She loved to watch John Stewart and Steven Colbert. She also had many sayings she learned from her parents that she passed on to her children. Although some were vulgar and not always appropriate for children, they nevertheless imparted a profound wisdom that her son especially cherished and will always remember and endeavor to pass on to her grandchildren and great-grandchild.

The highlights include:

"You kids could tear up a cast iron turd."
"The sun don't shine on the same dog's ass every day."
"Come hell or high water"
"Birds of a feather flock together"
"It's always darkest before the dawn."
"Every cloud has a silver lining."
"When they are little, they step on your feet. When they are big, they step on your heart."
And finally, her son's favorite:
"Actions speak louder than words."